terça-feira, 10 de março de 2015

Almost three months back home.

I couldn't be more thankful for the present God gave me. The place where I discovered the deepest me was at Ambrose. My weaknesses and my strengths. The place where I could be myself without any restrictions. The place where I could be away from so much stress I have had since I was a little kid. The place where I met some of my dearest friends... Where I got a new family. 
Only myself and I know how much I had to go through to achieve this goal. Many years of sacrifices and obstacles were so worth it. Then, suddenly, everything was... done!? I'd have to stop living what I've fought so much for? Would I abruptly have to interrupt all of this!? 😩
A friend once told me that sometimes we need to step back to jump forward. I hope she's right.
I don't know why I feel so deeply connected with people. It hurts me a lot sometimes. But I know that if it wasn't for this achievement, I wouldn't have grown as a man and I wouldn't have discovered some of the greatest people who have changed my life. 
I wouldn't trade these things for anything. 
Sad that I can't have them all the time with me. They had the ability of making my worries disappear, replacing them by friendship and joy. Yea... They need to shine in their own world. But the truth is that they have taken part of me with them, so I may never feel complete again. However, I'll surely feel happy for seeing them happy.  
Some people may forget me one day, maybe I may forget some of them too... But at the end, my life has become better because of them. That is the greatest price I paid for the richness of knowing and loving people in more than one place. 
I'm glad I have Internet.
I really do not know when I'll see them in person again... In one month? in one semester? in one year? in two years? ... Some I may never see again... Where will God lead us through?
The uncertainty has just anguished me from inside out. 😥If this depended on me, I'd see everybody tomorrow. Just for a couple of hours at least. Time, life, future, destiny... Whatever it is called, we don't control it.
I am a new Shalon though.
By the end of the day...😩 ... Everything I pray for is REST for my heart, because it has been very sad as it never felt... But it is still very thankful. I just needed to give vent to this emotion.
August 13th - December 29th:  the greatest time of my life. I think I've just completed the last post of my Ambrosian adventure in 2014 on my blog. Thankfulness defines "my Ambrosian way of life".
Goodnight. See you someday, Ambrose...

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